It's a lonely walk, this crazy life I've chosen. More often than not it feels like I'm just going in circles. Deciding to be a full time writer is like hopping into a hamster wheel... until suddenly, you realize you might actually get somewhere.
I'm still spinning, but this wheel is the only way to get where I hope to go.
How could I do otherwise? It has always been my dream to write. I wasn't getting any further as an artist - another dream job, right? - but I'm also not giving up on it. There is more security in a nine-to-five, an actual paycheck at least. Yet, if that was what I was supposed to do with me life, I imagine there would be more satisfaction in it. But no. This is the best I have to offer. To deny these parts of myself is to give the world the lesser portion, the leftovers.
Sure, I create worlds to please myself, but I also send them as a benediction into the world. Who knows but what something I've written may touch someone just when they need it most. That person may touch countless others with their particular giftedness, and soon that wheel I'm on becomes a whirlwind of people recreating the world into a better place.
That's what what makes it worthwhile; knowing that even as I spin, momentum is building.
What are you walking toward today?