There is snow on the ground this morning, cold and white, barely covering the remaining autumn leaves scattered across the lawn. If I look at it one way, all I see is impending winter - numb fingers, drippy noses, higher heating bills, etc. But if I open my eyes to possibilities rather than negativities, I see hot cocoa, cozy sweaters.... and Christmas! It really is a matter of perspective.
For years I whined about not having time to do the things I wanted to do, essentially blaming those around me for my own choices and lack of follow through. I was frustrated that I couldn't have it all, that I wasn't where I wanted to be.
The interesting thing is, I've always believed it was more about the journey than the destination. Conflict between what you believe and how you act saps the soul of it's energy. When you decide to finally be true to who you are, you really can have it all - maybe just not all at once. As for me, once I decided to drive instead of remain in the passenger seat, I started to enjoy the journey again. It's a lot nicer for everyone traveling with me too. When you love what you do, life takes on whole new meaning. Imagine everyone waking up excited about the day ahead..... imagine them rushing off to work that was more like play..... but alas, most of us aren't doing what we once dreamed of.
Now, imagine a tot on Christmas Day ripping open packages with the same enthusiasm regardless of what they hold. It is the hope, the anticipation that whatever is inside is going to be something wonderful that I want to hang on to. When you know ahead of time that the gift inside is, say.... socks, instead of some super spectacular new toy, it's hard to get enthusiastic. But, because we can't know that later on, that new toy may break the first time we play with it while those socks are still keeping our feet toasty warm, we let disappointment color our world. If what you're doing now isn't all you wished for, don't stop hoping. But don't pout and make the rest of the world miserable either. Wear the socks and be grateful.... and then grow up, and buy your own presents. Ever called a plumber? How about an electrician, doctor, or even the snow plow guy? We don't apologize for keeping them employed, so why get all apologetic when we need online tech support? I suppose if you're part of my children's generation, you don't. But yesterday I found myself shamefully confessing my ineptitude to Nick - a very helpful young man at Weebly who, despite his best efforts (and through no fault of his own) couldn't fix my problem either.
Thanks, Nick, for making me feel like I'm not so out of touch after all! Learning a new skill, or even improving an old one, can seem an insurmountable challenge when you're faced with time constraints, and who isn't today? But, just like it says above, stumbling is okay as long as you keep moving forward. You may end up spending precious time and energy, and still hit a brick wall like I did today - but at least now you know it's there. Climb it, go around, try to blast your way through or even back up and start over. But don't give up. Dreams are sewn together from the pieces we save, not those we throw away.
Have you ever lost the thread of an amazing idea, and then spent half your day trying to unravel the mystery? I hope in an alternate universe those inspirations are knit together - I've contributed a sweater's worth today alone!
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